Be A Lofty Love Goddess

Jewelry the perfect giftAre you one of those women who goes completely ga-ga when you fall in love, morphing from a sensible, rational, respectable woman into a panic-stricken, blabbering, drivelling mess? Well, it’s time to morph back. Pick up the shreds of your self-esteem from all over the floor and read on.

photo credit: Valerie Everett

1. You were born to be worshiped and adored

Notice how grown adults get down on their knees to look at and talk to babies in strollers. The baby didn’t have to jump out of its pram to beg for attention. It naturally attracts adoration. You were that baby once. You did your own thing and patiently accepted the attentions of strangers. Nothing has changed except that you’re a little older, and your self-esteem got left behind somehow as you grew up. You are still a beautiful and fascinating creature. Sit back, relax, and bask in that knowledge. Remember, the word that comes to mind when people see you should be ‘cute’, not ‘pathetic’.

2. Get a life

Your happiness cannot depend on whether or not the phone rings with a call from a man. While you’re watching the minutes go past, wondering why the phone doesn’t ring, he’s probably sound asleep or busy watching ESPN and grunting his approval of Maria Sharapova’s legs. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t like yours. He’s just being a man and they can’t help it. Being a man, he also doesn’t realise that a woman can spend hours waiting for the phone to ring. They don’t live their life like that, you see. And you shouldn’t either. If you don’t hear from him, go show off your own legs where they are appreciated.

3. Hang out with girlfriends

Ask your close girlfriends out for coffee and spend the whole afternoon talking about your love life if you need to. You should ideally have sensible girlfriends who understand men a little and love you a lot, rather than ditzy ones who have dated a little and giggle a lot. The wonderful thing about girlfriends is that they’ll listen, sympathise, see at your dumbest, and love you anyway. They are the ones you want to make a fool of yourself in front of, not the guy you are trying to impress. Plus, men come and go but girlfriends are always there for you, and they deserve your time much more than your latest crush does.

4. Take care of yourself

Instead of sitting at home torturing yourself with “he loves me, he loves me not” sessions, do the things that will make you easy to love. Go for a run or a swim everyday, to get yourself in great shape over the next few weeks. Update your hairstyle and wardrobe. Practise yoga. Do a manicure or pedicure yourself or pay someone to do it. Facials, massages and spa treatments also count. You’ll feel and look great if you take care of yourself. If your guy asks you out again, you’ll feel as attractive as Sharapova and have a great date. If he doesn’t, you’ll look great for whoever comes next. If no one else comes along soon, you’ll look great anyway. That must be a good thing.

5. Socialise

There is more than one man in the world. If your guy is not paying you the attention you deserve, and you’re not married or otherwise committed to him, there’s nothing to stop you from meeting other people. Join a cooking class, go to the gym, browse in libraries, attend parties, take tennis lessons. Just get out there and meet people. For one, it’ll give you something to do instead of staring at the phone and clock at home. Secondly, you may learn something new and you never know when that may come in useful. Thirdly, you’ll feel less desperate when you realise that it’s not the end of the world if you don’t hear from him again.

If you’ll do these things, you’ll exude the irresistible aura of a woman who’s confident of herself and happy with her life. Men are drawn to this type of woman. Everyone is. Even you will like yourself better. As a lofty love goddess, you won’t be bothered whether or not your phone ever rings again, because you’re too busy being divine to care about the affections of a mortal man. And the funny thing is, your phone will likely start ringing off the hook when you aren’t even thinking about it.



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Posted by Daphne | September 10, 2008 | in Love Much


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  • Comments by Readers

  • B @ logos coaching: What a great list. I am especially drawn to number 2 as I am incorporating more silence and quiet time into my life at present....
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  • Beaulotus: Hi Daphne, it’s precisely that – that they didn’t have anything better to do with their time and lives. Those few mums...
  • Beaulotus: Daphne, it was interesting reading this wonderful post. As you may know, I socialise alot in our expat community and we have mothers...
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  • Self-esteem Building: I agree that our thinking gives positive or negative meaning to a certain event, person etc. Nature is neutral. It’s...
  • Hilary: Hi Daphne .. good points .. adopt a hero – yourself – ensure you smile, be kind, be open, be friendly .. Draw the boundaries is...
  • J.D. Meier: Beautiful distillations … heroes, boundaries, and buddies are the way to go. It takes less energy to be yourself than be somebody...
  • Lance: Hi Daphne, Number 4 is an important one for me. It’s so easy for other people’s attitudes to filter over into our own –...
  • Mazhar Nawaz: Dear Daphne enjoyed reading every word. I appreciate your honest views on Live Like You’ll Die Tomorrow.
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  • Lindsey Petersen: I am a die hard optimist who leads a happy life even when I should be sad…an anomaly, I guess! Lindsey Petersen...
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  • James Gray: When you say that good and bad aren’t “out there,” it isn’t clear what that means. I don’t know if anyone...
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