“You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.” -Dale Carnegie

I think the best people in the world are those that make it their job to be encouragers. I try to be one of those people when I can. However, I do eventually get run down by all the negativity in the world.

Recently I have been going through a little bout with depression. It’s not the kind that destroys you, but it sure takes all the fun out of your day. And your life! Because I haven’t had any depression in awhile I was in a funk and didn’t know what to do. I eventually decided that I would make a list of strategies that work to combat depression, so I could practice them now, and prevent more depression from occuring in the future.

Ways To Stay Positive

1. Surround Yourself With Positive People – This can be hard especially when all the negative people are your co-workers or your family. Yet you can do a lot to maximize your time with positive people. Seek out friends that help you stay positive. Join clubs that help you stay positive. At the very least you can read books and blogs like this one that help you stay positive! ;-)
2. Smile a whole bunch! – There is a technical term I like to throw around a lot called psychosomatic. Good word to look up in fact. At it’s simplest it means the mind-body connection. Thinking yourself happy can make your body feel better and less stressed. Likewise, something like smiling, can cause your brain to think you are happy even if you aren’t. If you haven’t heard of it before, do a little research.
3. Become a Problem Solver – Focusing on a solution to a problem, rather then focusing on the problem itself, can dramatically increase your happiness and positivity.
4. Make a List – Not just any list though. Make a list of things you are thankful for. A list of things you love to do. A list of the people you love. Focusing on these things will help brighten your day. And when you go back to read them again, you can smile all over again! Refer to #2 above…

It took a lot of my friends to help turn around my depression. Slowly but surely I could let off the steam by surrounding myself with positive people, smiling more even if I didn’t want to, focusing on the solution rather then the problem, and simply writing positive things down.

At the end of the day you are simply letting negative thoughts out of your life, and positive thoughts into your life.

Hope you all enjoyed this! Please feel free to list other ways you stay positive in the comments below! And thank you Daphne for having me. It’s been a pleasure!

Jeremy Day writes about personal development, personal finance, and personal health over @ InsightWriter.com It’s all pretty personal. Come say hi when you get a chance!

One of those big egos was mine, I blush to admit. It’s now sitting back in an armchair wrapped in bandages, pondering what just happened and assessing the damage done.

Why do friends fall out over the smallest thing because of big egos? And what can we do to salvage the wreck?

photo credit: tibchris

Headed towards disaster

When an accident between two vehicles happens, it is because one or both were headed in the wrong direction, and neither stopped in time. This analogy works for me in the ego world. In my case, it was of course the other big ego headed in the wrong direction, because I know I am never wrong ;)

Still, when I look back on my flight path, I suppose I could have taken a different route. Instead of feeling insulted and misunderstood, I could have considered the fact that I did not communicate my intention well enough. Instead of defending myself, I could have apologised for being ambiguous.

Insisting on right of way

There’s a story about a ship’s captain noticing a blip on his radar which was directly in his path. He radioed the other ship to change course. The ship replied that he should change course himself. Again he instructed the other ship to change course. Again the ship refused. Finally he threatened to run over the other ship with his large tanker. The other ship calmly replied that he was welcome to run his tanker aground since the other ‘ship’ was actually a lighthouse.

Big egos are like big ships. They don’t like to change course. Their size gives them the illusion that they have right of way. Therefore they very often run aground.

Not stopping in time

The arrogant captain in the previous story presumably had the good sense to change course once he realised he was up against a lighthouse.

When I question my big ego sitting there in the armchair, it mumbles sheepishly when I ask if it could have stopped in time. “Why didn’t you just stop arguing?” “I wasn’t arguing, I was explaining.” “Could you tell from the reaction that your explanation wasn’t working?” “But I had to tell the truth from my point of view.” “So the other point of view has truth too, right?” “But my side of the story was important too!“… We could go on all night this way.

C-R-A-S-H !

Regardless of who is ‘at fault’, in a collision both parties lose. Parts get broken. Confidence is shaken. Momentum is lost.

The aftermath

And yet, not all is lost. We can choose our reactions to accidents. In some accidents, both parties get out of their cars and start screaming at each other. In others, both apologise and together work out a way to deal with the mess.

My big ego is thankfully not so stupid as to scream and point an accusing finger at the other big ego. Unfortunately, neither is it wise or humble enough to take the first step and apologise.

So we are in limbo at the moment – my big ego sitting in the armchair looking woeful and wronged, and me looking on in frustration because I can’t kick it out of the room. We live together, you see, my big ego and I.