Pruning the Grapevine: Good vs Bad Gossip

Some of my readers have been wondering if I’m ok because I’m posting less lately. I’ve been very well actually, and making new friends. The bad news is that I’ve found myself gossiping more than usual with this new found circle.
With every social group, it takes time to ascertain where the boundaries lie – what [...]

How to Give SMART Encouragement

How wonderful it is to encourage others, yet how often we find fault instead. Most people are better at criticising than encouraging, simply because we engage more often in the former.
I spent years learning how to encourage instead of put down. For a while my mantra was “Praise, Not Perfect.” At first, it was hard [...]

Greetings! But Let’s Not Shake Hands…

Hello everyone! I’ve been busy with moving house and work, and lost the blogging momentum as a result. Thanks to those who took the trouble to send messages and emails asking how I’ve been. I am grateful for your friendship.
I recently returned from Thailand, where I think they have the most gracious greeting etiquette of [...]

The Gift of Community

“I am a part of all that I have met.”

- Alfred Tennyson

contacts
Creative Commons License photo credit: striatic

Where does the word ‘community’ come from and what does it mean? Understanding the literal components of the word may helps us in choosing our communities and contributing meaningfully to them.

‘Community’ is the modern English derivative of the Latin communitas, which is a combination of two Latin root words:

  • cum: ‘together’ or ‘with’
  • munus: ‘gift’ or ‘exchange’

So community literally means coming together to share our gifts. Let’s look at the two components to building community, whether that community be your marriage, family, workplace, friends, or religious group:

  1. Making the effort to initiate or maintain contact
  2. Sharing gifts to build a mutually beneficial relationship

8 Defenses Against Nasty People

Being the flawed persons we all are, you will not like everybody you come across, and not everybody will like you. No matter how hard you try, there will occasions when people are nasty to you when you did nothing to provoke them.
Every now and then, someone will give you unsolicited criticism, send you a [...]

Knowing When Not To Interfere

A few days ago I was walking behind a mother who was screaming at her young son. She hurled words like “Go away from me, I don’t want you.” In my broken-heartedness for the child who had to put up with rejection by his own mother, I almost went up to him to say “Don’t [...]

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  • Comments by Readers

  • Kit: I’ve found that real change and lasting weight loss happens slowly, and is VERY frugal. 25lbs over the last 6 mos may be slow, but...
  • Beaulotus: Hi Daphne, it’s precisely that – that they didn’t have anything better to do with their time and lives. Those few mums...
  • Beaulotus: Daphne, it was interesting reading this wonderful post. As you may know, I socialise alot in our expat community and we have mothers...
  • Paul Maurice Martin: “Declining to play” has been an important one for me – I think of it as letting go of the egoism of others....
  • Self Improvement Minded: “Keep the company of the wise” that’s how we always said 4 when I was young.
  • Lana-{Daring Clarity}: Those were great points Daphne, thank you. And I so loved how you started that the reason you “keep blogging is that...
  • nudgeme: Great pointers on maintaining personal integrity Daphne, and always lovely to log on and see a post from you! Identifying your...
  • Self-esteem Building: I agree that our thinking gives positive or negative meaning to a certain event, person etc. Nature is neutral. It’s...
  • Hilary: Hi Daphne .. good points .. adopt a hero – yourself – ensure you smile, be kind, be open, be friendly .. Draw the boundaries is...
  • J.D. Meier: Beautiful distillations … heroes, boundaries, and buddies are the way to go. It takes less energy to be yourself than be somebody...
  • Lance: Hi Daphne, Number 4 is an important one for me. It’s so easy for other people’s attitudes to filter over into our own –...
  • Mazhar Nawaz: Dear Daphne enjoyed reading every word. I appreciate your honest views on Live Like You’ll Die Tomorrow.
  • Walter: Yes, I believe with what you have written here. In fact, I’m applying most of them into my life. There are lot of ways to be happy,...
  • Lindsey Petersen: I am a die hard optimist who leads a happy life even when I should be sad…an anomaly, I guess! Lindsey Petersen...
  • Hilda: Hi Daphne, I’ve read ALOT on the subject of happiness over the years, and have transformed myself from a miserable pessimist to a...
  • macy_c: I used to trust my instinct a bit more, but overtime, self doubt and life in general erode the trust. I just wrote an account of when I...
  • Evelyn Lim: I have found more meaning in my life when I started contributing my assistance and service to others. In the process, I become happier...
  • James Gray: When you say that good and bad aren’t “out there,” it isn’t clear what that means. I don’t know if anyone...
  • nudgeme: Hi Daphne Lovely to see a post on Joyful days in my Google Reader this morning – and such an uplifting one at that! I concur with...
  • vered - blogger for hire: “Which is partly why I’m blogging less now – I have a happy life to keep me occupied!” This is great. You...