Detach from Outcomes

Our relationships with other people are the main sources of our happiness and also the biggest causes of our heartaches. The heartaches happen when we expect certain outcomes from our relationships: that our children do as we say, that our partners show love the way we want them to, that our friends agree to our [...]

What Makes A Good Relationship

To many people, a good relationship is one that makes you happy or that lasts a long time. We are quick to judge a relationship as failed when it is not as long-lived as we’d like, or if we weren’t happy in it. Instead of judging and labelling our relationships, perhaps we should just accept [...]

What are Your Relationship Expectations?

Many of us enter romantic relationships hoping that they will last forever. Therefore when a decision is made to move on, we feel that we have failed in the relationship. Yet the failure is in living up to our own expectations, rather than anything to do with the relationship itself. Here’s a way of looking [...]

Why Letting Go is Hard and How to Let Go

When a relationship ends, why do we find it so hard to let go? We think that we’re trying to let go of the other person. The reality is that we’re not clinging on to the other person, but to something else – the past, the future, or our ego. This post focuses on relationships [...]

Are Enlightenment and Intimacy Compatible?

An intimate relationship, like marriage, is an exclusive attachment to another. Enlightenment is detaching from people and things in general. Many of us want both, but can the two co-exist?

20 Ways to Ruin A Relationship

Sometimes we learn what works by experiencing what doesn’t. Here are some behaviours that de-stabilise or ruin relationships. The emphasis here is on romantic relationships or marriage, though the same can be applied to all sorts of personal and work relationships. photo credit: Toronja Azu

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