It seems I am some kind of guru now.  At least I have a badge and award that says I am, courtesy of eCollegeFinder. A big thank you to all my loyal readers who have helped make this blog what it is today. Here is the official press release.

October 21, 2010 – Philadelphia, PA – Joyful Days has recently been honored to receive eCollegeFinder.org’s Top 50 Wellness Gurus Award.  The Wellness Guru Award recognizes the top 50 Internet-based resources providing support and advice for college student’s mental, emotional and physical health.  By introducing and exemplifying important messages about taking care of our bodies, Joyful Days has shown its commitment to teaching students a few things about improving their overall lifestyle.

The Wellness Guru Award commends Joyful Days’ resource for students of all ages, highlighting the myriad of opportunities available to leading a happier, healthier and more balanced life.  To view more about this award, visit the eCollegeFinder Wellness Guru Award page.

About eCollegeFinder.org

Getting ahead in today’s competitive job market requires you to advance your education and knowledge. eCollegeFinder.org helps students find the right online degrees, offering a wide range of Bachelor’s, Master’s and PhD degrees as well as specialized certificates and diplomas from the top accredited online colleges and universities.

P.S.

I’m happy to see that two of my blogging friends have also been given this award: Evelyn at Abundance Tapestry, and Lance at Jungle of Life. Gretchen Rubin at The Happiness Project, a writer whom I admire from afar, is also a recipient and I’m honoured to be in the Top 50 along with her.

One manager I know was so frustrated that she started a policy of “one in, one out.” When she was asked to write an additional report, she politely asked which other report she could stop writing to make room for the new one.

The “one in, one out” method can work wonders for you because it is a simple mantra to remember, and will restore balance to your life in many ways.

1. One task in, one task out

Before taking on a new project, be sure that you will be able to let go of an old one. If you work for yourself this is easier to accomplish. Set a deadline for an existing project and start the new one only after you’ve handed over the old project.

This mantra will make multi-tasking a breeze. Start your next task only when you’ve completed the one before. Otherwise you’ll end up trying to do many things at one time which will slow you down and frustrate you. You’ll accomplish a lot more by focusing on one task at a time.

2. One duty in, one duty out

Relinquish an old responsibility before taking on a new one. If asked to sit on a new committee, agree only if you can hand over your seat on another committee to someone else. This gives others a chance to contribute, and allows you to give your best by focusing on your chosen responsibility.

3. One item in, one item out

This mantra has rescued me from many a shopping spree! When buying an item, decide beforehand which item you’re going to throw out when you get home. Better yet, throw out the old item before bringing the new one home. This applies to clothes, shoes, bags and even furniture.

4. One hobby in, one hobby out

While you can indulge in several hobbies, it helps to take only one hobby seriously at any one time. Say if you start piano lessons, then commit to practising piano everyday and indulge other hobbies only occasionally. Once you reach a proficiency level allowing you to enjoy piano as an occasional hobby, then move on to learn something else.

5. One thought in, one thought out

Most people flit from one thought to another quickly. Staying focused on one thought at a time allows you to simplify and enjoy the power of your mind. Concentrate on one problem and consider it from all angles until you move towards a solution. Think about one design concept until you start to see all the possible details and choose one that works. Before moving on to a new thought, make sure you’re done with the old one.

Using the “one in, one out” method will simplify your life immediately by halting the growth of further chaos and clutter. You will at least maintain the balance of things as they currently are. As you get used to it, you can alter the mantra to “one in, two out” if you want to further simplify and reduce clutter in your life. Have a try!

photo credit: 10ch

In her desperation she had sought help from gods of every form. Prayers were said to the Christian God. Black magic was invoked by a Malay bomoh. Scientific cures were sought from a qualified counsellor. This person was serious about wanting to change her life.

As I watched this friend’s struggle, I realised I was witnessing a personal transformation before my very eyes. Since real-life examples are more helpful than theories, I thought I’d write down my observations. So here it is: the anatomy of a life change, based on a true story.

Stage 1: Awakening

When a person says “I want to change my life”, there is usually a pretty big trigger event. This could be losing a job, a business, a life partner, or a close friend. While things have been going downhill for a while, there is one thing that finally snaps us out of our denial that anything is wrong, and makes us realise “Gosh, I really screwed up.”

Stage 2: Anger and blame

This friend of mine blamed her parents for a miserable childhood, her business associates for bailing out on her, her friends for not being there when she needed them. Eventually she turned the pointing finger inward and finally took responsibility for bringing her troubles upon herself.

Stage 3: Acknowledge weakness

Being a very strong and proud person, it took a lot of effort for this person to talk about her imperfections. She admitted that she had not been honest, had let down people who trusted and counted on her, and was hypocritical in her earlier exhortations to others to behave morally while she was secretly breaking all her own rules.

Stage 4: Ask forgiveness

Having acknowledged her specific weaknesses and faults, she was able to verbalise her regret and write to those she had hurt. She described how depressed she felt, how much she needed her friends’ support, and asked for their forgiveness. She also said that she was working on forgiving herself.

Stage 5: Accept help

With her burden of guilt lightened, she started taking concrete steps to change. One thing she did right was to reach out to any friend who would extend a helping hand. Hers was no small-scale self-help effort. She went all out to spread the word that she wanted help. And she was surprised and encouraged by how kind and generous people were.

Stage 6: Bury the past

Instead of dwelling on events of the past, my friend taught herself to let go. When people asked her what had happened, she simply said she didn’t want to talk about the past anymore. When the people she had hurt accused her for what she had done, she said she was sorry but she was no longer that person, and asked them to give her a chance to regain their trust.

Stage 7: Focus on the present

Everyday, she reminded herself of the kind of person she wanted to be. She affirmed that she was fundamentally still a good person. She focused on the life she wanted – a life of peace and joy, of helping other people and making the world a better place. She kept this vision of the new “ME” topmost in her mind as often as she could.

Stage 8: Keep working at it

Last I heard, she is still working hard at being a better person. Like many of us, she will never attain perfection, and personal improvement will be a lifelong process. She still faces temptations to revert to her old way of being, but she is at least conscious of these temptations and better equipped to turn away. She’s a trooper.

Conclusion

I have learnt so much from watching this person. In a way, we are all her. Some of us have already been through the stages above. Some of us will probably start the cycle all over again at some point.

The most beautiful part of this story is that while my friend thought she was darkness and evil personified, she was actually bringing light and hope to all of us. She showed us that when a person really wants to change her life, she can indeed change it.

photo credit: Perfecto Insecto