Dwelling In The Cell Of Self-Knowledge

I heard of St Catherine of Siena’s beautiful phrase “dwelling in the cell of self-knowledge” when I attended a Lay Dominican meeting earlier tonight.

Millions of people around the world will be headed to their office cubicles today, to begin yet another work week. You may spend most of your waking hours in that corporate cell, yet no time at all in your interior cell of self-knowledge. How can you begin to dwell in this cell?

1. Find your cell

The first thing you need to do is create a space where you can be with yourself in private. This space need not be a physical place. All it needs to be is a sanctuary from the world.

My cell consists of my journal and a pen. I can sit anywhere in the world – at a cafe, at an airport or on a plane – with my journal open before me and a pen in my hand, and I am somehow in my own world. I have the quietness of mind to hear myself think, even with the world bustling about me.

Your cell may be different. You may need to go back to the same physical place all the time, like a room in your home or a park bench. Or your cell may be the half-hour before daybreak when the rest of the family wakes up, or the quiet of your office cubicle early in the morning before the rest of the office gets in. Only you know where your cell is, and you have to find it.

2. Dwell in your cell

Once you have found your cell, return to it often. Don’t expect fireworks to happen the very first time you’re there. As with any relationship worth building, getting to know yourself is going to take time.

Once you’re used to shutting out the world and focusing inwards, you can do this in a matter of seconds. But when you first start, you may take much longer. It usually takes me at least ten minutes just to still my mind, and sometime I don’t manage it even after half an hour.

Just as you feel more comfortable in any home the longer you’ve lived there, so you’ll feel more comfortable with yourself the more time you spend in your own company. It’s interesting how many people can chat for hours with a friend, but feel bored after being with themselves for five minutes.

You have to dwell in your cell often enough to feel completely at ease there. You’ll know that this space has become a sanctuary for you when you start to yearn for it everyday, and feel that something is not quite right when you don’t retreat to this cell for a few days in a row.

3. Wait for yourself to show up

So what do you do during the time you’re in your cell? Learn to observe your thoughts without judging them. Picture your thoughts floating in and out of your mind as they please. There is no pressure to think or not think a certain way.

The same goes for your feelings. Take note of exactly how you feel without admonishment, no matter how strong or negative the emotions. Watch them as you would watch the waves crash upon the cliffs, knowing that the waves have an energy that must be expended.

Writing down my thoughts and feelings works wonders for me. Having to put words on paper helps me to crystalize exactly what I’m thinking or feeling. The process also purges the raw power of those thoughts and emotions, leaving me calmer and more objective.

Still, the point of dwelling in your cell is not to do, but to be. You don’t have to write anything unless you want to. Just be still, and wait for your deepest thoughts and feelings to surface. You cannot rush this process anymore than you can force oil to separate from water by impatiently stirring the mixture. Be still and wait.

Know thyself.

- The Oracle of Delphi

The road to self-knowledge is not always easy. Sometimes you’ll realize things about yourself that you’d rather not admit. This has happened to me many times. When this happens, you’ll have to learn to accept and forgive yourself in the same way that you would someone you love.

At other times, you will be amazed at the awesome person you are. You have so much potential, so much good in you that often goes unrecognized because you are too busy doing other things. When you know yourself, you will come to love the wonderful person you really are.



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Posted by Daphne | October 20, 2008 | in Think Deeply


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2 Responses to “Dwelling In The Cell Of Self-Knowledge”

  1. David
    October 20th, 2008 @ 10:39 am

    Hi Daphne,
    It was great to have you with us last night. This is the first time I take a look at you blog and I have to say that if you wrote all that in less than two months, you are on your way of becoming the next Thomas Aquinas, ;-) I love the one of “Love as if if will not hurt”

  2. Daphne Lim
    October 20th, 2008 @ 4:42 pm

    Hi Fr David,

    Thank you for your comment! You are very prolific on your blog as well. I was surprised that you find time to keep a blog with such detailed and thoughtful posts. I’ll certainly be back to visit.

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