Glad you were soothed by the writing of the post. As much as we’d like everybody to like us, this is statistically quite impossible. I’ve learnt to accept that no matter how hard I try or how good I am, at least 5% of the world won’t agree with me or like me.

Your colleague probably belongs to that 5% of people in your life you’re never going to win over, nor should you try as it will lead to a lot of heartache with very little progress. I’ve also learnt that when people lash out at us, the attack comes from their own hurts and insecurities. Your colleague very likely has issues of his own which make him react to you.

Over the years I try to take things less personally, recognising that others have their own inner worlds that cause them to act the way they do, and that their actions have very little to do with my inner world. I can only take care of my little world and let others take care of theirs.

Hope this comments helps a little, though it comes late. Thank you for trusting me enough to share your thoughts and struggles so openly here. I’ve learnt a lot from you and am inspired to continue blogging if it helps even one other person.

I’m happy to find someone who agrees that this is possible! Yes sometimes people who don’t believe make us feel somehow unreal. I like your expression of a ‘lighter life’ and that is exactly how I feel too. Thanks for chipping in with your comment here… let’s both continue working on “letting the old crap go” :)

@ Ale,

Believe me, I’ve dug through a lot of dirt in my time :) Glad you like the phrase and hope it helps you. Thanks for commenting, and sorry for this late reply.

Thanks for your enlightment. You said very well that “One person’s opinion or feeling about you does not make you who you are. Some famous person (I can’t remember who now) said “Your opinion of my is not my problem”” It soothes me.

I know the colleague who doesn’t talk to me because he does not like me. We talked about this bluntly because I once clarified my concerns with him. He put it on the table and said that yes, we don’t get along because not only we have vastly different views but also my work quality wasn’t up to “his” standard in his eyes. I told him that he only sees a log in others but never see the logs in his.

All my colleagues, including my boss, said that my work was of good quality. That colleague just tried to find things that I didn’t do so well on one occassion, picked on it to reconfirm his view towards me is right. He kept a book in his heart, marking down all my wrongs and accumulate it one by one. of course, this is hard to fight when one purposedly keep a log book and magnify one’s fault and that log book would not take into account my improvements. hanging on to old problems can make the log book thicker than ohone directory… so, his impression to me is hard to change.

What you just said – Your opinion of me is not my problem, helps me a lot. thanks.