Give Freely

You have two precious possessions that you can give: your time and your money.

1. Give your time

Most people would love to sleep in on Sundays. That is the best time of the week. I am a member of a choir that serves at the morning service every Sunday. This means that we have to wake up early on Sundays.

It is tempting to take a Sunday off now and then. We rationalize to ourselves: “I give of myself fifty Sundays a year. Surely it is alright to take two Sundays off a year. In a YEAR!” This reasoning sounds fair. Yet it means that we’re not giving freely.

Giving freely means to give. Period. No conditions. No grudges. No holding back. No bargaining. No exceptions. ‘Free’ means you don’t negotiate on the price. It sounds difficult but it’s really just one decision. Decide once that Sunday mornings are my gift. Then it becomes easy because you never have to think about it again.

It’s when you haven’t made a real decision that it becomes a struggle every Sunday. You struggle because you give yourself options, and expand mental energy weighing the options. The giving is not free, and neither are you.

Some people say it’s better not to give at all than to give grudgingly. I’m not so sure. I think giving grudgingly still counts for something. But it takes a lot out of you. Giving freely leaves you feeing different. You feel light because you are truly free.

2. Give time to a project you love

Find something to which you can devote some time each week or each month, or even each year to start with. Some ways you could give your time:

- spending time with the old
- collecting old clothes for the poor
- serving in a church ministry
- guiding visitors to a museum
- diving to clean up coral reefs
- manning a crisis helpline
- tutoring poor children
- taking part in a fundraising event

Find something you love doing because it will be easier for you, and it will be easier for the world. Nobody likes a grouch so we are all better off if you do something that you are happy to do. If you really don’t know what you’d like to do, just say yes to the next request for help that you get. And offer to do it on a regular basis.

Every second of your life is given to you freely, with no conditions. Give just a little back. And give freely.

3. Give your money

Most people’s reaction to tithing 10% of their income is “What! I can’t afford to give that much away! I’ll wait till I have enough left to give.” That was my reaction too. The truth is, you can’t afford not to give that much away, and it’s best to start now.

When you tell yourself that you cannot afford to tithe, you send a very powerful message to your brain. The message is “The universe is limited and I don’t have enough”. This will then become your reality. When you tithe, you tell your brain “There is more than enough, and whatever I give will create abundance that will come back to me.”

Bear in mind that the brain is a very obedient organ. Just as your digestive system processes whatever you send its way, the brain processes whatever information it receives from you. Output depends on input. So which message do you want your brain to receive, act on, and create as your reality?

Don’t take my word for it. Do your research on the wealthiest people in the world and you will find that they give generously. You may say that they can afford to give before they had so much. Well, perhaps they have so much because they give.

Maybe you think that the reason for giving should not be to want something back. You are right. None of the above convinced me emotionally, though it made intellectual sense. What got me in the gut, and finally got me tithing, was realizing this:

We tithe not because we have leftovers at the end of the month, nor because we want more. We tithe because we have already been given so much.

4. Give money to a cause you believe in

It’s really up to you. You could give to your church, an orphanage, an old folks’ home, a neighbourhood school, your alma mater, a village in another country, adopt an elephant in Africa, or start a scholarship fund.

I give to a hospice because they were incredibly supportive when my dad was terminally ill, even though he didn’t live long enough to actually use their services. I decided on this organization in gratitude for their help, and in memory of my father.

If 10% is too much for you to stomach now, start with 1%, or even 0.5%. Just get into the habit first, and increase the amount later. My first 10% cheque hurt like crazy to mail out; now I don’t even notice it. I just know that blessings never cease to come my way.

What goes around comes around. This applies to your money too. You can’t take it with you when you die anyway. The good that your money does will probably outlive you. So give freely.

This is Part 6 of the series:

Think Deeply
Speak Gently
Love Much
Laugh A Lot
Work Hard
Give Freely
Be Kind



If you like this post, why not sign up for more?


Posted by Daphne | August 26, 2008 | in Give Freely


Other Posts You May Like


2 Responses to “Give Freely”

  1. siva
    December 14th, 2008 @ 5:36 pm

    What goes around comes around. This applies to your thoughts too. The thoughts and actions that you do will probably outlive you. So give freely right actions and thoughts.

    :-) from ur last stmt

  2. Daphne
    December 14th, 2008 @ 9:38 pm

    Hi Siva,

    Very true. I’m still learning, and think that’s what kharma and the law of attraction are all about. You’re right, we should give freely of kind thoughts and helpful actions. Well said! Thanks for leaving that thoughtful comment.

Leave a Reply







  • Comments by Readers

  • Kit: I’ve found that real change and lasting weight loss happens slowly, and is VERY frugal. 25lbs over the last 6 mos may be slow, but...
  • Beaulotus: Hi Daphne, it’s precisely that – that they didn’t have anything better to do with their time and lives. Those few mums...
  • Beaulotus: Daphne, it was interesting reading this wonderful post. As you may know, I socialise alot in our expat community and we have mothers...
  • Paul Maurice Martin: “Declining to play” has been an important one for me – I think of it as letting go of the egoism of others....
  • Self Improvement Minded: “Keep the company of the wise” that’s how we always said 4 when I was young.
  • Lana-{Daring Clarity}: Those were great points Daphne, thank you. And I so loved how you started that the reason you “keep blogging is that...
  • nudgeme: Great pointers on maintaining personal integrity Daphne, and always lovely to log on and see a post from you! Identifying your...
  • Self-esteem Building: I agree that our thinking gives positive or negative meaning to a certain event, person etc. Nature is neutral. It’s...
  • Hilary: Hi Daphne .. good points .. adopt a hero – yourself – ensure you smile, be kind, be open, be friendly .. Draw the boundaries is...
  • J.D. Meier: Beautiful distillations … heroes, boundaries, and buddies are the way to go. It takes less energy to be yourself than be somebody...
  • Lance: Hi Daphne, Number 4 is an important one for me. It’s so easy for other people’s attitudes to filter over into our own –...
  • Mazhar Nawaz: Dear Daphne enjoyed reading every word. I appreciate your honest views on Live Like You’ll Die Tomorrow.
  • Walter: Yes, I believe with what you have written here. In fact, I’m applying most of them into my life. There are lot of ways to be happy,...
  • Lindsey Petersen: I am a die hard optimist who leads a happy life even when I should be sad…an anomaly, I guess! Lindsey Petersen...
  • Hilda: Hi Daphne, I’ve read ALOT on the subject of happiness over the years, and have transformed myself from a miserable pessimist to a...
  • macy_c: I used to trust my instinct a bit more, but overtime, self doubt and life in general erode the trust. I just wrote an account of when I...
  • Evelyn Lim: I have found more meaning in my life when I started contributing my assistance and service to others. In the process, I become happier...
  • James Gray: When you say that good and bad aren’t “out there,” it isn’t clear what that means. I don’t know if anyone...
  • nudgeme: Hi Daphne Lovely to see a post on Joyful days in my Google Reader this morning – and such an uplifting one at that! I concur with...
  • vered - blogger for hire: “Which is partly why I’m blogging less now – I have a happy life to keep me occupied!” This is great. You...