Make A New Friend Today

“A stranger’s just a friend you do not know” sang Jim Reeves. You pass by dozens of strangers a day. If you could convert just one into an acquaintance or friend, you would have a network of thousands of people all over the world. Do this for the sheer joy of connecting with other people, for the expansion of your mind and soul, and for the practical benefits of networking.

1. Smile at everyone

As soon as someone makes eye contact with you, smile. Whether the other person smiles back or not is irrelevant. Some will, some won’t. Most of the time you’ll find that people are friendly enough once you make the first move. A smile is disarming. It brightens your day, let alone the other person’s. And it’s a universally understood language.

2. Say “Hello”

When somebody smiles back, take the next step and greet them. This of course works best when you’re in a country that speaks the same language as you. Even if you’re a visitor in a foreign country and don’t speak the language, it’s hard to misunderstand a simple “Hello” or “Hi”. You can make friends on your travels and have fun learning greetings in other languages: “Ni Hao (Chinese)”, “Konichiwa (Japanese)”, “Sawardi-kup (Thai)”, “Bonjour (French)”, “Guten Tag (German)”, “Hola (Spanish)”.

3. Make small talk

If your greeting is returned, and time and circumstances allow, proceed to small talk. Comment on the surroundings (“Isn’t it crowded today?”), ask a question (“Do you work around here?”), or give a compliment (“That’s a nice bag”). This may take practice before you’re comfortable, and may feel tacky at first when you try to strike up a conversation. You may get some confused reactions if you’re not used to it and feel awkward yourself. It’s worth the effort though. When you’ve learnt how to talk to anyone, you’ll feel at home anywhere in the world.

4. Exchange contact details

Once you’ve exchanged words, it’s appropriate to exchange contact details. Always offer your namecard first. This gesture will usually be reciprocated without you having to ask. If the other person does not have a namecard on hand, you could take out another one of yours and have him write his contact details on the back of it. If the other person does not offer to give you his contact details, that’s their prerogative. Maybe they’re not as comfortable with strangers as you are or have trust issues. Just leave it be.

5. Call or email promptly

On the day itself or the following day, call the number you were given or send an email. This establishes a channel for further communication. You want to make contact soon after the initial meetings, while they still remember you. Keep the call or email short, saying that you’re just calling to say hi and making sure you got the phone number or email address right. They won’t mind hearing from you since they gave you their contact willingly, but don’t impose on their time at this stage.

6. Keep in touch

Now that you’ve established phone or email contact, you could follow up a few weeks later. This time it would be ideal if you could offer some information that might be useful to the other person. If you had talked about needing a vacation during your initial meeting, you could tell him about a travel fair you’ve heard is coming up in the area. If the other person had mentioned how hard it is to find good places to eat in the vicinity, email information or a link to a nice eatery that you came across.

7. Go with the flow

Not all contacts made this way will result in lifelong friendships. In fact, very few will. Most will remain mere acquantainces that you keep in touch with occasionally. Many will just fizzle out over time. The thing is not to have any expectations. You’re doing this for no other reason than to be a friendly person and to reach out to people who cross your path. The outcome of your efforts is out of your hands. The point is that you made the effort.

You never know where this will lead. Sometimes great friendships result. Often you’ll have a huge telephone directory and can call several people in the relevant field should you want information in a particular area or need help with a certain project. You’ll also be on the radar screen of many people who may call you regarding business deals, job opportunities, social gatherings and so on.

So smile at the next stranger you meet, and let serendipity do the rest.

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One Response to “Make A New Friend Today”

  1. Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker
    February 4th, 2009 @ 2:50 am

    I have made some wonderful new friends over the internet this way when I run across a blog that interests me such as yours, I reach out to the blog owner through emails. I just subscribed so that I can keep up with your inspiring words and stories. I am also notorious for starting conversations with people in line at the grocery store or Walmart.

    One conversation recently started when I held the door open for a lady who was very grateful. She said she was having a bad day and that my small act of kindness brightened that day. Don’t you know, her comments brightened my day too. Kindness really can and should be contagious. I do a lot of smiling at strangers.

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