Reflections on morphing from a moody, angry, impatient person to being at peace with myself and my world and loving every day of life. Maybe growing older helped, but certainly changing a few key thoughts made loads of difference. Sorting out the basics allowed me to stop worrying about the day-to-day stuff and focus on who I want to be and how I want to live. Subscribe for free updates to get the latest posts on living Joyful Days.

No More Crappy Days

bad dayIt’s been almost a month since I last posted, the result of technical problems with this site initially followed by inertia resulting from loss of blogging momentum. While away from this blog, I fully engaged in ‘real’ life and had a few pleasant revelations.

One particularly revealing incident was a young friend with growing pains asking me “So what do you do when you’re having a crappy day?”

I had to think really hard before replying “You know, I don’t know how to answer because I don’t have crappy days anymore.”

Continue reading this article…

What Makes A Good Relationship

Round four - Samba!!!To many people, a good relationship is one that makes you happy or that lasts a long time. We are quick to judge a relationship as failed when it is not as long-lived as we’d like, or if we weren’t happy in it.

Instead of judging and labelling our relationships, perhaps we should just accept them as they come. Yet being human, we want to understand our relationships, analyse them, and satisfy ourselves that they meant something.

If we insist on evaluating our relationships, then we could at least adopt a broader perspective. Even a brief, unhappy relationship could have a purpose in your life. Here are some alternative ways to judge the ‘goodness’ of a relationship.

Continue reading this article…

What are Your Relationship Expectations?

Snoopy Has A HeadacheMany of us enter romantic relationships hoping that they will last forever. Therefore when a decision is made to move on, we feel that we have failed in the relationship. Yet the failure is in living up to our own expectations, rather than anything to do with the relationship itself.

Here’s a way of looking at relationships that will instantly make the world a happier place: A relationship is not some kind of test to pass or fail, nor is its success judged merely by its longevity; it is a gift to be enjoyed while it lasts, and maybe a chance for us to grow.

Continue reading this article…

Why Letting Go is Hard and How to Let Go

InspirationWhen a relationship ends, why do we find it so hard to let go? We think that we’re trying to let go of the other person. The reality is that we’re not clinging on to the other person, but to something else – the past, the future, or our ego.

This post focuses on relationships because that affects so many of my readers, who sometimes write to me asking how to let go. I myself had to let go of a relationship recently, so the issues are still fresh in my mind. Still, the points apply almost equally to letting go of possessions, careers, or anything else that we are attached to.

Continue reading this article…

How Original is Your Faith?

Is your faith your very own, or is it borrowed from some other person or system? Paul Maurice Martin challenges us to ask ourselves this question in his book Original Faith: What Your Life is Trying to Tell You.

Paul discusses faith intelligently both from an intellectual perspective and from his personal viewpoint as someone whose faith has been tested to the limit.

He suffers from a debilitating illness that makes even the simplest tasks, like typing on a computer, extremely painful and difficult. The result of his personal trials is a faith that is real. Reading about his personal faith journey can show you how to form your own faith based on your own life experiences.

Continue reading this article…

My Baby Turns One

BS_Wedding_43A year ago, this blog was birthed
Upon a happy whim.
To learn to blog was my intent;
A useful skill it seemed.

What would I write? What could I share
That others would want to read?
I loved my life, and so Voila!
Joy was this blog’s creed.

Continue reading this article…

« go backkeep looking »


  • Comments by Readers

  • B @ logos coaching: What a great list. I am especially drawn to number 2 as I am incorporating more silence and quiet time into my life at present....
  • Kit: I’ve found that real change and lasting weight loss happens slowly, and is VERY frugal. 25lbs over the last 6 mos may be slow, but...
  • Beaulotus: Hi Daphne, it’s precisely that – that they didn’t have anything better to do with their time and lives. Those few mums...
  • Beaulotus: Daphne, it was interesting reading this wonderful post. As you may know, I socialise alot in our expat community and we have mothers...
  • Paul Maurice Martin: “Declining to play” has been an important one for me – I think of it as letting go of the egoism of others....
  • Self Improvement Minded: “Keep the company of the wise” that’s how we always said 4 when I was young.
  • Lana-{Daring Clarity}: Those were great points Daphne, thank you. And I so loved how you started that the reason you “keep blogging is that...
  • nudgeme: Great pointers on maintaining personal integrity Daphne, and always lovely to log on and see a post from you! Identifying your...
  • Self-esteem Building: I agree that our thinking gives positive or negative meaning to a certain event, person etc. Nature is neutral. It’s...
  • Hilary: Hi Daphne .. good points .. adopt a hero – yourself – ensure you smile, be kind, be open, be friendly .. Draw the boundaries is...
  • J.D. Meier: Beautiful distillations … heroes, boundaries, and buddies are the way to go. It takes less energy to be yourself than be somebody...
  • Lance: Hi Daphne, Number 4 is an important one for me. It’s so easy for other people’s attitudes to filter over into our own –...
  • Mazhar Nawaz: Dear Daphne enjoyed reading every word. I appreciate your honest views on Live Like You’ll Die Tomorrow.
  • Walter: Yes, I believe with what you have written here. In fact, I’m applying most of them into my life. There are lot of ways to be happy,...
  • Lindsey Petersen: I am a die hard optimist who leads a happy life even when I should be sad…an anomaly, I guess! Lindsey Petersen...
  • Hilda: Hi Daphne, I’ve read ALOT on the subject of happiness over the years, and have transformed myself from a miserable pessimist to a...
  • macy_c: I used to trust my instinct a bit more, but overtime, self doubt and life in general erode the trust. I just wrote an account of when I...
  • Evelyn Lim: I have found more meaning in my life when I started contributing my assistance and service to others. In the process, I become happier...
  • James Gray: When you say that good and bad aren’t “out there,” it isn’t clear what that means. I don’t know if anyone...
  • nudgeme: Hi Daphne Lovely to see a post on Joyful days in my Google Reader this morning – and such an uplifting one at that! I concur with...