Put Down Deep Roots

Just as a big tree needs deep roots to grow tall and withstand the buffeting of the winds, so we need deep personal roots to stand firm when faced with the challenges of life.

As our world becomes more global and people frequently relocate, and as our lifestyles leave less time for the bonding that provides emotional security, it becomes even more important for us to have personal roots that anchor us while everything around us changes.

1. A place to call home

While few of us will spend all our lives in the same physical house, we can make a home wherever we are. Home is not a place, but a sanctuary for your soul. It is somewhere you can retreat to when the world gets too overwhelming.

In Cherie Blair’s autobiography Speaking For Myself, she describes her visit to the refugee camps in Kosovo. All the tents looked identical from the outside but were all different inside as each woman had attempted to make it comfortable for her family in her own way. Even in those trying circumstances, the women knew that they had to give their children a semblance of a home.

For some of you, home may be the house of a relative or close friend rather than your own. It is where you go when you need to think and reflect, where your soul can rest and recharge. It may be a familiar bench in a park, or an old childhood playground. Basically, it is “your” place.

2. Someone who loves us

Some of you may not be attached to places, but perhaps need the refuge of a trusted friend’s understanding. There is one person, or a select few, that you tend to run to when you need to find some balance in your life.

For many of us, our mothers provide a stable foundation in our chaotic life. Somehow she makes things better just by being there. I was told that when soldiers are injured in war, the one person they call out for is their mother. Whoever this person is for you, nurture that relationship, for it will nurture you in time of need.

Bear in mind that you may be this person for someone else. What a privilege if that is the case, and what a responsibility. Be available when you can, for you don’t know what that may mean to someone else.

3. Family traditions

When places and people in your life are constantly changing, family traditions can provide the comfort of knowing where you came from and who you are. Traditions can be simple or elaborate. What makes them traditions is that everyone knows what to expect and roles are clear during gatherings.

Some families have rituals built around graduations, anniversaries, Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Year’s and so on. The tradition could involve how you dress, what you do, what you say, even what you eat.

In my family, we always eat the same cake for birthdays. We may celebrate the birthdays in different places, with different guests, in different ways. But the cake is always the same size, from the same shop, with the same packaging. It’s just part of who we are as a family, one of those things we can count on.

4. Life mementos

You can collect mementos of significant events or people in your life. Photographs are a common choice. When I visit a home with lots of photos of family members displayed, I feel that I’m walking through a museum of family history. I can imagine how rooted such families are.

When I was younger, I used to collect candles on my travels. I’d buy a beautiful candle reflecting the place as closely as possible, to remind me of where I’d been in my life. The original plan was that when I was old and dying, I would light each candle one at a time and in that way re-live my whole life and remember who I was. That plan was eventually abandoned due to space constraints but I still like the idea.

Other mementos you could collect are trophies, plaques of recognition, letters and postcards, clothes worn on special occasions, babies’ first shoes, anything really. These serve as landmarks of your life, helping you to place yourself whenever you feel lost in later life.

5. Defining values

Not everyone, including me, likes collecting items or has the luxury of doing so. However, everyone can have a set of defining values or a personal mission.

Nelson Mandela was in prison for years and lost almost everything in his life. But he always held on to his values of equality and forgiveness, and never lost sight of his mission to see his country freed from the grip of apartheid.

Knowing what you stand for allows you to put down deep roots and hold still when all around you is falling apart. You could develop a personal creed that clarifies your values, or visit All Considering, a blog which discusses spirituality, to think about what values you want to adopt if you don’t already know.

When I look at mammoth trees or skyscrapers, I remind myself that the only reason they are able to go so high, is because they went so deep. Roots take time to grow, and foundations take time to build, so the earlier we put down those roots the better.

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Posted by Daphne | October 14, 2008 | in Think Deeply


4 Responses to “Put Down Deep Roots”

  1. lydia
    October 15th, 2008 @ 2:34 pm

    hey daphne, cool blog. I’ll be sure to log in regularly.

  2. Daphne Lim
    October 15th, 2008 @ 4:07 pm

    Thanks Lydia! I’ll try to write good posts to make it worth your while logging in!

  3. Katinka - spirituality
    November 3rd, 2008 @ 11:00 pm

    I should have responded earlier. Thanks a lot for mentioning my blog :) I have been reading yours ever since.

  4. Daphne
    November 5th, 2008 @ 7:37 am

    Katinka, thanks for dropping by to say hi! I really liked your blog which I found when researching this post. Keep up the nice work!

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