Book Review: Send Yourself Roses

This is the very first Joyful Days book review!

As part of my commitment to myself to read a book a week, I’m going to post a review of the book of the week every Sunday. That’s the current plan anyway. There’s no particular reason this is the first book. It just happened to be the book I was reading when I decided to ‘go public’ with my reading commitment.

Do post a comment if you have any suggestions how this book review can be made more useful for you, the reader. Here goes!

1. What I like about the book

Kathleen Turner wrote this at the age of 50, and the book starts on a very strong, positive note. You can tell that she is very happy with where she is in her life now.

Refreshingly, she does not start from the beginning, as many autobiographies do. She starts from where she is, and I love this approach. At some point she does talk about how she started in acting, of course, but by that time you already have a sense of who she is now and how she thinks.

She gives an insider view of the thrills and challenges of acting both in film and on the stage. For example, having to suck on ice cubes in winter so that when she spoke her breath wouldn’t mist up, since the film Body Heat was supposed to take place in summer.

Another amusing anecdote was having bruises from hanging from the chandelier in War Of The Roses, and getting into position every day by simply lining up the bruises against the same points on the chandelier! (I wonder if I am dedicated enough to my work to suffer physical pain every day…)

Besides speaking candidly about her separation after 21 years of marriage, she also writes about her struggle with rheumatoid arthritis. While tragic enough when it affects anyone, it is even worse for a stage actress who cannot afford the luxury of showing signs of pain on stage or even worse, stop acting because of the pain. This is one gutsy woman.

2. Who should read this book and why

Women anxious about ageing

Turner shows us how to not only age gracefully, but to celebrate the later years with confidence, zest and renewed vigour. She actually made me wish I was 50 already! I am happier and stronger now in my 30s than I was in my 20s, so I can imagine it must be wonderful in my 50s.

Couples going through separation or divorce

While it is never an easy decision to end a marriage, Turner explains her view on when it becomes necessary to do so. She also shows that it is possible to remain friends with the ex-spouse, for the sake of the children, friends in common, and simply because you have been an important part of each other’s life.

Sufferers of debilitating illnesses

Not everybody has the high threshold of pain and strength of will that Turner demonstrates, but she does give hope to those whose doctors have told them that they will never walk again or some other such devastating news. She fights all the way and manages to resume acting again, against all odds.

Aspiring actors and actresses

Most of us see only the glamour of acting, the final product of years of struggle and sacrifice. Turner takes us behind the scenes for a glimpse of what acting is all about. She reminds would-be actors of the importance of passion, not just to be able to put up with the uglier side of the industry, but to succeed in it.

3. Quotes from the book

My favourite quote

“I choose my roles for film and stage the same way I choose my roles in life. The woman I play must be integral to the script. If the film or play will be just as good without her, then I will not play that part.” (page 97)

Other quotes

“I learned to keep in mind that I was going back to real life. People who resist that, who want to keep getting that unrealistic level of attention, become selfish, grasping, irresponsible people.” (page 83)

“Ultimately, the only power an actor has is the ability to say no. You’ve got to hold on to that and not make choices based on money or they will own you.” (page 153)

“Voice as a practical communication tool is a skill, like how you move and how you sit. Women take a great deal of care in how they present themselves visually. For some reason we’ve never extended that to our aural world.” (page 178)

“Any voice can become great if used to take a stand and do service – greater still when joined with others. And sometimes it is the unheralded action of a single individual that speaks most compellingly about righting a wrong of society.” (page 186)

“The choices I make are who I am. Even if they’re wrong choices, to delegate or to cede the right to make them – to anyone – would be to give up yourself.” (page 242)

4. Other reviews of the book

Send Yourself Roses U-Blog is the site of the co-author of the book, Gloria Feldt, who provides photos and other news snippets about Kathleen Turner. She has included this review on that site.

Women & Hollywood provides a more feminist perspective of the book.



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Posted by Daphne | October 12, 2008 | in Book Reviews


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2 Responses to “Book Review: Send Yourself Roses”

  1. Budgets are Sexy
    October 13th, 2008 @ 1:22 am

    WOW, that is quite a goal you have for yourself!!! i coudn’t even do 1 book every month, or every other month for that matter, so big props to you :) I admire those who read a lot – so smart!

  2. Daphne Lim
    October 14th, 2008 @ 8:37 am

    Hey Budgets are Sexy, thanks for the comment! I don’t always achieve a book a week, especially when the book is a heavy weight. Still, I certainly read more now than when I didn’t have that goal. Maybe I should start a new blog – Books are Sexy… I love your user name!

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