Think Deeply

Beyond YonderTo know who you really are and what you truly believe, you must have the courage to question everything. Most of us were brought up in a certain belief system, whether religious or not. Usually we inherit the thought patterns of our parents and our childhood environment.

Some people will defend the belief system they inherited until the day they die. This is fine, of course. You are the only one who can choose your path in life, and sometimes you will choose to walk in the footsteps of those who went before.

photo credit: Kenyatta Klaxson

Some of you, however, are searching for truth. Your truth. Not anyone else’s. And this is a lonely journey. In the process of searching, you will reject almost everything that you were taught to believe. You may incur your parents’ anger, you may lose friends, and you may experience a severe identity crisis.

1. Know where you started

I was a cradle Catholic, and went through the same religious phase that most Catholics go through. I wanted to be a nun. I went for daily Mass. I felt guilty for everything. I read publications by the Church and the writings of the Pope. Contrary to Descartes’ famous axiom of “I think, therefore I am,” for me it was “I think, therefore I am not.” I almost left the Church as a result of my search for answers.

You may not be a Catholic, but you may be equally sceptical of your childhood faith, whatever that may be. And perhaps on the verge of walking away from everything that used to define you.

I want to tell you that this is okay. There are two possible outcomes when you start to wander away from your spiritual or philosophical roots:

The first outcome is that you end up abandoning your faith altogether, but find another faith that you can embrace as your own. This is a good thing, since we need to believe in something in life.

The second outcome is that you will come back to your original root, but this time you will know why you are there. This is also good. It is better to believe with understanding than without.

2. Question everything

All the breakthroughs in history were made by those who challenged existing theories, came up with new hypotheses and tested them. Galileo was branded a heretic for saying the earth orbited round the sun. Marconi was thrown into a mental asylum for suggesting that radio signals could be sent through air. Oh, and of course, Jesus was crucified.

Exercising your freedom to think for yourself will usually come with censure from others. I’m not saying that if others disapprove, it means you are right. Sometimes it just means you’re being stupid. I’m merely suggesting that you cannot have freedom of thought unless you are willing to put up with some degree of criticism.

Learning to ask “What if…” questions is a good place to start. For example, “What if the Church is wrong and Jesus would approve of abortion after all if he was alive today?” Test the limit. See if the new position makes sense. The sign of a great mind is the ability to hold two opposing thoughts at the same time without the need to immediately discard one of them. Consider the alternatives.

3. Decide what your truth is

There is no such thing as an Absolute Truth. And by the way, that’s merely my truth. Your truth may be different. For me, truth does not exist out there in the universe, but in the mind. And because all our minds are individual, your truth will be different from my truth. Even all those who believe in ‘God’ have something different in mind when they use that word.

Does this mean that anything goes? That if you decide murder is right then it is? Of course not. Yet some governments have decided that it’s right for them, and that’s how political assassinations happen. I’m not about to judge here, but I accept that you can only act on what you believe truest and best at any point in time.

I’m not completely sure of this, but I think that our myriad individual truths will eventually lead us all to the same place. I believe there is an underlying force that is more powerful than any single person, that at some level we are all one. Kind of like a jigsaw puzzle. You have to know your shape and your individual design before you can meaningfully contribute to the larger picture. So ultimately it is okay to find your own truth. Ironically, you may fit better into life’s overall design.

4. Live by your truth

The reason it’s so important for you to know what you truly think, what you believe deep inside, is that this is the only way to live with integrity. I started to own my life when I owned my thoughts. Prior to that, I was a pawn in a larger game, and could only move where the rules said I could go. Once I dared to think for myself, I went anywhere that made sense. And life has been a wonderful adventure.

Part of that adventure is that I am often wrong. This entire article could be wrong. And if you choose to believe all this rubbish, well that’s part of YOUR life adventure. But I’d rather be wrong with conviction than right without knowing it. What makes us human is the ability to think and rationalise. You are more human when you are consciously pursuing truth, detours and wrong turns included.

As you become more and more sure of what you believe, you will experience a greater freedom in your life. Freedom to dare, freedom to try, freedom to be different, freedom to be wrong. Freedom to be who you really are.

Wars have been fought, and people have died for freedom. You don’t have to go that far. Just try thinking deeply for ten minutes in the privacy of your room tonight. Challenge one thought that you’ve held for the past decade. Ask “What if…” and see where this adventure takes you!

This is Part 1 of the series:

Think Deeply
Speak Gently
Love Much
Laugh A Lot
Work Hard
Give Freely
Be Kind



If you like this post, why not sign up for more?




Other Posts You May Like


6 Responses to “Think Deeply”

  1. snigdha
    September 24th, 2008 @ 8:08 pm

    Great thoughts – I personally believe in this line of thinking and loved reading through your article. It is really wonderful to find people spreading the message of living a life of true joy and happiness and I am sure, all these efforts are not going waste. keep going !

    snigdhas last blog post..My Scrap Book – Enthusiasm

  2. Daphne Lim
    September 25th, 2008 @ 10:38 pm

    Snigdha, isn’t nice to know that others think like us? At least we know we’re not walking this journey alone. Your blog is pretty amazing too and exudes so much energy!

  3. Andy Ho
    October 31st, 2008 @ 9:42 am

    RE: “There is no such thing as an Absolute Truth.”
    >>This means actually that there is no such thing as an Absolute Truth save for your Absolute Truth that there is no Absolute Truth! Thus your stand cannot be logically right.

  4. Daphne
    October 31st, 2008 @ 10:34 am

    Hey Andy,

    You are right. That is my opinion, and not an absolute truth. And obviously I could be wrong. That’s why what I wrote in its full context was “There is no such thing as an Absolute Truth. And by the way, that’s merely my truth. Your truth may be different.”

    I know this is a can of worms for Christians. I am one myself and struggled with it for a long time, and am still learning of course.

  5. David
    November 16th, 2008 @ 1:35 am

    Truth is difficult to achieve, but that is what makes our lives interesting. Galileo was more right, “his statements” more true than Ptolomy. Truth is simply reality as it is known. To say that there is no true means that either there is no reality, or that we cannot know it. And we can certainly know part of it. It is difficult, but worth trying. I honestly think that today’s belief that there is no truth just because we all have different versions of the truth, is a fallacy itself. Precisely, because we have many reflections of light, it proves that light exists. In the same way, the fact that we have opinions is just a way of saying there is some truth out there that we are all trying to grasp. Of course, i could end this comment saying that this is JUST my opinion, and with it pretend I am being humble; but it would be a tautology, everything we think it is JUST our opinion.

  6. Daphne
    November 16th, 2008 @ 7:33 am

    Fr David,

    “Precisely because we have many reflections of light,it proves that light exists.” This is a good point. Because so many people seek the truth, through religion or spirituality, that suggests that there is some sort of God. I agree with this. I certainly don’t think that there is no truth, since obviously human beings are hard-wired to search for truth. Far from there being no truth, it is the search for this truth that drives much of life.

    Going back to your analogy of light, does a forest exist because I see it, or would it exist even if there were no eye in the world to see it? I think this is the philosophical problem I have with Absolute Truth. We can say the forest exists only because its existence is witnessed by enough people, and even then their perception of the forest is different – each would have experienced the forest a different way. Therefore to understand what a forest is really like, it is not enough to talk to just one person, even if this person were the tallest and smartest one. To try to define what is a forest by saying that only some people’s opinions of the forest are accepted and not others’ is to me denying aspects of what the forest is. And to know what a forest is, it is better to visit it myself instead of merely listening to what others say about it because my experience is unique to me, and no one can tell me how I will personally experience the forest. I understand truth in the same way.

Leave a Reply







  • Comments by Readers

  • Paul Maurice Martin: “Declining to play” has been an important one for me – I think of it as letting go of the egoism of others....
  • Self Improvement Minded: “Keep the company of the wise” that’s how we always said 4 when I was young.
  • Lana-{Daring Clarity}: Those were great points Daphne, thank you. And I so loved how you started that the reason you “keep blogging is that...
  • nudgeme: Great pointers on maintaining personal integrity Daphne, and always lovely to log on and see a post from you! Identifying your...
  • Self-esteem Building: I agree that our thinking gives positive or negative meaning to a certain event, person etc. Nature is neutral. It’s...
  • Hilary: Hi Daphne .. good points .. adopt a hero – yourself – ensure you smile, be kind, be open, be friendly .. Draw the boundaries is...
  • J.D. Meier: Beautiful distillations … heroes, boundaries, and buddies are the way to go. It takes less energy to be yourself than be somebody...
  • Lance: Hi Daphne, Number 4 is an important one for me. It’s so easy for other people’s attitudes to filter over into our own –...
  • Apply: How do you find these sites to add to your carnival? Do you search for them, or do you already know the site owners?
  • Mazhar Nawaz: Dear Daphne enjoyed reading every word. I appreciate your honest views on Live Like You’ll Die Tomorrow.
  • Walter: Yes, I believe with what you have written here. In fact, I’m applying most of them into my life. There are lot of ways to be happy,...
  • Lindsey Petersen: I am a die hard optimist who leads a happy life even when I should be sad…an anomaly, I guess! Lindsey Petersen...
  • Hilda: Hi Daphne, I’ve read ALOT on the subject of happiness over the years, and have transformed myself from a miserable pessimist to a...
  • macy_c: I used to trust my instinct a bit more, but overtime, self doubt and life in general erode the trust. I just wrote an account of when I...
  • Evelyn Lim: I have found more meaning in my life when I started contributing my assistance and service to others. In the process, I become happier...
  • James Gray: When you say that good and bad aren’t “out there,” it isn’t clear what that means. I don’t know if anyone...
  • nudgeme: Hi Daphne Lovely to see a post on Joyful days in my Google Reader this morning – and such an uplifting one at that! I concur with...
  • vered - blogger for hire: “Which is partly why I’m blogging less now – I have a happy life to keep me occupied!” This is great. You...
  • Tess The Bold Life: I can attest that they all work. I’ve even been quite happy in the middle even though I’m sliding out of that...
  • J.D. Meier: Excellent rundown. I used to think happiness was doing nothing, then I found out it’s actually doing something. It’s got to...