What Christmas Can Teach You About Yourself And Others

As Christmas draws near and we get caught up in the usual hustle and bustle, take some time to look inwards. After all, the original Christmas was a very quiet, private affair.

My Christmas gift to you is, hopefully, a new understanding of yourself and others born of this post. 

Christmas reveals your personality

Think about what you are like during this period. Using the Personality Plus framework explained by Florence Litthauer, ask yourself if you are a choleric, melancholy, sanguine or phlegmatic personality.

Bear in mind that most of us don’t fit neatly into a single category, but have a dominant personality with a secondary personality type.

Choleric

Cholerics are the strong-minded souls who know exactly what they want and are determined to have things done their way. You are probably choleric if you:

a) Know the best way to celebrate Christmas.

b) Tell everyone else how they should celebrate Christmas.

c) Take over the organising of the family get-together because the others just aren’t doing a good job of it.

Strengths of the choleric personality

You are a natural leader and good to have around because you assume responsibility and take charge to make sure things happen. You are a go-getter and self-motivated.

Weaknesses of the choleric personality

Most people don’t like to be told what to do, so you may come across as bossy. You may write off others’ ideas too quickly because you think you know best. You are also blind to the fact that sometimes you may be wrong.

Melancholy

Melancholics are the perfectionists who must have everything done just right. You may be a melancholy if you:

a) Have spent weeks or months planning the Christmas party and get upset if things don’t go exactly to plan because then it isn’t perfect anymore.

b) Spend hours preparing the house for guests so that everything is just right when they arrive.

c) Fuss over getting the perfect gift for each person.

Strengths of the melancholy personality

You take care of all the details that everyone else doesn’t notice or care about. You can see how things fit together and understand how changes in one area affect other aspects.

Weaknesses of the melancholy personality

Those who aren’t detail-oriented may be driven up the wall by your insistence that things be done precisely a certain way. You may also spend a lot of time brooding when things don’t go right.

Sanguine

Sanguines love to have fun and are the life of the party. You are probably a sanguine person if:

a) Christmas is a reason to have as many parties as possible.

b) All the kids flock around you because they know you will entertain them with stories, jokes and tricks.

c) You love being the centre of attention find it boring when the attention turns to Jesus or any other topic.

Strengths of the sanguine personality

You are great fun to be around and provide lots of laughs. When things get tense, you lighten up the mood and help others to relax. You inject life into otherwise serious and boring discussions.

Weaknesses of the sanguine personality

Since you love the sound of your own voice, you may not understand why others get bored after listening to you for a while. In your anxiety to provide entertainment, you think nothing of exaggerating or stretching the truth a little.

Phlegmatic

The phlegmatics are the peace-makers who are happy when everyone else is happy. You are probably a phlegmatic if:

a) You hate it when others argue about what presents to buy, who to invite for the party and so on.

b) A party is considered successful if everyone is getting along even if they all forgot you were there.

c) You’re quite happy to let others do all the planning and work, and will sit back contentedly until specifically asked to do something.

Strengths of the phlegmatic personality

You make no demands on others and let them be themselves. When there is a disagreement, you promote reconciliation. You are a good teamplayer because you get along with everyone else.

Weaknesses of the phlegmatic personality

Some consider you lazy because you seldom initiate any activity and have to be prodded before you act. For the sake of avoiding conflict, you sometimes let important issues get swept under the carpet.

Appreciating personality differences

Based on the four personality types, you can safely assume that three-quarters of the world is very different from you. Instead of feeling frustrated that others don’t think or behave the way you do, be grateful that you all bring different strengths to the table.

The cholerics make things happen, the melancholics make sure the details are taken care of so things run smoothly, the sanguines make the whole process fun and enjoyable, and the phlegmatics make sure the other three personality types don’t kill each other.

If you’d like to understand the various personalities in more detail, get the book here: Personality Plus: How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself.

Christmas reveals your love language

According to Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages, each of us has a dominant love language. Knowing your own love language and the language of those around you can help to make everyone feel loved in the way they need to feel love.

Chapman says there are five love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch, and gifts.

Words of affirmation

If the words on Christmas cards mean a great deal to you, and you take great pains in writing loving thoughts on cards that you give others, perhaps your love language is words of affirmation.

Acts of service

Perhaps you show your love at Christmas by helping your spouse with chores around the house, or doing something special for your kids. If actions speak louder than words for you, then your love language may be acts of service.

Quality Time

If words and actions mean less than just spending time together over a meal or just watching the lights on the Christmas tree, even without speaking or doing anything necessarily, then quality time may be how you feel and show love.

Physical Touch

Your love language may be physical touch if Christmas love and cheer is shown by hugging and kissing everyone in the family and guests who visit, and you experience the camaraderie of the season best when someone’s arm is around you as the carols are being sung.

Gifts

Christmas is the time of year when you feel most loved if your love language is gifts. Receiving and giving so many gifts all at once makes you feel on top of the world and loved beyond measure if your love language is gifts.

 Learning the love language of others

Your tendency is naturally to show love the way you feel it. If your love language is physical touch, you may hug your children every hour assuming that they too feel loved when you do this.

However, if your child’s love language is quality time, the hugs mean little if you run off to do your own thing in between hugs. She may need you to just sit with her for an hour, and then she feels very loved.

To learn more about the five love languages and how to speak the language of your spouse and children, get the book here: The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.

Peace, love and joy be yours!

I hope this post has helped you to understand your personality and that of those around you, and lead you to the PEACE that comes with accepting yourself and others.

May you LOVE better this Christmas by knowing the love language of those closest to you so that you can show love the way they need to feel it. And may they also show you love in a way you understand.

JOY to the world, and to YOU, this Christmas! Here’s a  joyous Christmas wish for all my wonderful readers!

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