Look In The Mirror

There is a joke about two little boys who put blue cheese spread on their grandpa’s moustache. He woke and said “this room stinks!” and walked to the next room, which also smelt. Finally he went outside to the patio and exclaimed “my goodness, the whole world stinks!”

When you life seems full of problems, usually there is only one problem and it’s staring you in the mirror. Once you raise your hand and admit that you are the real problem, things can start to change. While this can be difficult to do, the good news is that once you acknowledge this, life becomes very simple. There is only one problem you have to solve.

1. Own your life

Obviously your life is yours, but this means that you take ownership for everything your life is right now. Look at your family situation, career progress, financial affairs, and emotional state, and accept that all these are the way they are because of your thoughts and actions in the past.

There is no need to blame yourself if things are not all you want them to be. You are not perfect, and are not meant to be. If you were, there would be no room for growth and life would have no purpose. So be gentle with yourself when you own your life. Do it not to point the finger, but to control the hand that will create your life from today onwards.

2. Understand the Law Of Attraction

This law is best explained in a slightly controversial book titled The Secret. Essentially it states that you attract whatever you think about into your life. If you constantly worry about not having enough money, this will be your reality. If you keep expecting a relationship to go sour, it will. If you think you are not good enough for that promotion, you most likely won’t get it.

Some people doubt this law because they don’t understand that there is a time lag involved. It takes time for your thoughts to become reality. Your thinking is like the rudder of a large ship. When you shift the rudder, the ship takes time to turn. Your job is to keep the rudder pointed in the direction you want to go instead of grumbling that the ship doesn’t respond immediately and stomping off to find something else to do.

3. Choose your thoughts carefully

There are variations of this story, but essentially at the opening of Disneyland after Walt Disney himself had passed away, someone commented to his widow that it was a pity Walt himself wasn’t there to see it. Her curt reply was “He saw it before any of us did. That is why it’s here today.”

Wow, what a powerful understanding of how the world works. Every building and skyscraper that you see existed in someone’s mind before it was translated onto paper and finally bricks and mortar. Reality does not just happen. It is created, and by who? People just like you and me.

Choose your thoughts carefully, for they determine what your life will be five years from now. Imagine every thought you have as an isntruction going out to the universe, which then puts one more brick in place, exactly as you saw it in your mind. Over time enough bricks are in place that you see a building taking shape. That building is your life, and is created one thought at a time, by you.

You can allow this knowledge to frighten you, or to empower you. Perhaps both. Use it to your advantage. That raised hand in the mirror accepting responsibility for your life is the first step to using the law of attraction and your thoughts to create the life you want. Henry Van Dyke said it much better than I ever could, so I’ll quote his poem below.

Thoughts are Things

I hold it true that thoughts are things;
They’re endowed with bodies and breath and wings;
And that we send them forth to fill
The world with good results, or ill.
That which we call our secret thought
Speeds forth to earth’s remotest spot,
Leaving its blessings or its woes
Like tracks behind it as it goes.
We build our future thought by thought,
For good or ill, yet know it not.
Yet, so the universe was wrought.
Thought is another name for fate;
Choose, then, thy destiny and wait,
For love brings love and hate brings hate.

- Henry Van Dyke



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Posted by Daphne | September 28, 2008 | in Think Deeply


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  • Comments by Readers

  • B @ logos coaching: What a great list. I am especially drawn to number 2 as I am incorporating more silence and quiet time into my life at present....
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  • Beaulotus: Daphne, it was interesting reading this wonderful post. As you may know, I socialise alot in our expat community and we have mothers...
  • Paul Maurice Martin: “Declining to play” has been an important one for me – I think of it as letting go of the egoism of others....
  • Self Improvement Minded: “Keep the company of the wise” that’s how we always said 4 when I was young.
  • Lana-{Daring Clarity}: Those were great points Daphne, thank you. And I so loved how you started that the reason you “keep blogging is that...
  • nudgeme: Great pointers on maintaining personal integrity Daphne, and always lovely to log on and see a post from you! Identifying your...
  • Self-esteem Building: I agree that our thinking gives positive or negative meaning to a certain event, person etc. Nature is neutral. It’s...
  • Hilary: Hi Daphne .. good points .. adopt a hero – yourself – ensure you smile, be kind, be open, be friendly .. Draw the boundaries is...
  • J.D. Meier: Beautiful distillations … heroes, boundaries, and buddies are the way to go. It takes less energy to be yourself than be somebody...
  • Lance: Hi Daphne, Number 4 is an important one for me. It’s so easy for other people’s attitudes to filter over into our own –...
  • Mazhar Nawaz: Dear Daphne enjoyed reading every word. I appreciate your honest views on Live Like You’ll Die Tomorrow.
  • Walter: Yes, I believe with what you have written here. In fact, I’m applying most of them into my life. There are lot of ways to be happy,...
  • Lindsey Petersen: I am a die hard optimist who leads a happy life even when I should be sad…an anomaly, I guess! Lindsey Petersen...
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  • Evelyn Lim: I have found more meaning in my life when I started contributing my assistance and service to others. In the process, I become happier...
  • James Gray: When you say that good and bad aren’t “out there,” it isn’t clear what that means. I don’t know if anyone...
  • nudgeme: Hi Daphne Lovely to see a post on Joyful days in my Google Reader this morning – and such an uplifting one at that! I concur with...