What Makes People Happy? The Top 10 List

what makes people happyThe one thing most studies on happiness agree on is this: family and relationships are the surest way to happiness.

Close behind are meaningful work, positive thinking, and the ability to forgive.

What does not seem to make people happy are money, material possessions, intelligence, education, age, gender or attractiveness.

In rough order of importance, here are the factors that make us happy and what you can do to increase happiness in your life.

THE TOP THREE…

1. Family and relationships

The happiest people spend time with those they love including family, partners or friends. Intimacy with others fulfils two basic human needs – the need for social connections with others of our kind, and the need for personal growth which makes us feel fully alive.

A simple strategy for happiness is to accept social invitations whenever possible, or to initiate social gatherings with family and friends. Face-to-face meetings make us more happy than online networking, especially because hugging and other forms of physical touch releases endorphins. So use technology to set up meetings, but get out there and hobnob the old-fashioned way.

2. Meaningful work

We are happiest when engaged in activities that make us forget ourselves and lose track of time. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls the the “flow” experience. Flow can be achieved when making music, gardening, playing with children, practising sports, writing, or even pouring over a spreadsheet. According to Csikszentmihalyi, doing what you do best is the best way to achieve flow.

Abraham Maslow defines “self-actualisation” as the innate human motivation that each of us has to achieve our potential. We experience a sense of fulfilment when using and developing our skills, talents and abilities. When we complete a challenge or task that we are pleased with, we achieve a peak experience of self-realisation and are happy with our achievement. For that short time we have achieved self-actualisation.

3. Positive thinking

One attitude contributing to happiness is the refusal to compare yourself with others. Be content that the house you have is “enough house” instead of envying your neighbour’s bigger house. If you really have to compare, compare down and not up. For example, Olympic bronze medallists who consider themselves lucky to get a medal are happier than silver medallists who feel that they missed the gold medal.

Another useful attitude is to choose to believe the better option. For example, if your partner often works late, accept that he is overwhelmed with deadlines instead of telling yourself that he just doesn’t care enough to spend time with you.

THE REST OF THE LIST…

4. Gratitude

Perhaps this is a subset of positive thinking, yet it is such an important aspect that it deserves a place all by itself. Grateful people are happy people. Gratitude is best expressed in writing or talking. Keeping a gratitude journal or saying prayers aloud every night is a surefire way to increase your happiness.

Further reading: Keep a gratitude journal

5. Forgiveness

Those who cannot forgive become angry and depressed over time, and suffer poorer health due to the physical reactions to these negative emotions. Let go of these toxic feelings, and you increase your happiness.

Further reading: The gift of forgiveness

6. Giving to others

Many people testify that what lifted them from depression was helping others. Whether by volunteering at a homeless shelter, holding the hand of a terminally ill patient, raising funds for charity, or tutoring children from poor families, all forms of giving take us out of ourselves and set us back on the path to normalcy and happiness.

7. Religion

A person’s specific religions belief or denomination does not seem to matter as much as the fact that she beliefs in something. Religion provides a personal creed, a direction in life, and this sense of purpose contributes to a person’s well-being and happiness.

Further reading: Have a personal creed

8. Personal freedom

While everybody needs freedom to varying degrees, some people simply cannot be happy unless they determine their own fate and are left to make their own choices. For such people, choosing to quit a job in order to freelance or start their own business is a great contributor to happiness.

9. Good health

Surprisingly, health does not contribute much to happiness. Health, like money, is a hygiene factor. This means that its absence makes us unhappy but its presence tends to be taken for granted without any further increase in happiness. So keep yourself in reasonably good health so that you can enjoy life, but do not obsess over it thinking that more health brings more happiness.

10. Watching TV

This one goes against conventional wisdom. Yet studies by psychologists and economists confirm that this simple activity increases our enjoyment and happiness in the moment. While excessive TV may reduce our quality of life by taking away time from other important things, a little TV is harmless and may even be good for you :)

photo credit: orangachang

Sources:

Psychologists now know what makes people happy

Psychology 101: What makes people happy?

What makes people happy? 5 Important Factors

Survey reveals what makes people happy

What makes people happy based on cross-cultural studies

Happiness: What makes people happy?

What makes people happy? TV, study says

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21 Responses to “What Makes People Happy? The Top 10 List”

  1. Jarrod - Cultivating Heroes
    September 15th, 2010 @ 4:09 pm

    While agree that this list of elements certainly increase the happiness of the majority of people, what I disagree with is a notion that they may be required.

    For myself I know that simply being ‘present’ right now is enough to enable happiness. Regardless of what else is going on.

    The other aspects I believe are due to generations worth of conditioning. All happiness can be sourced wholly from within.

  2. Positively Present
    September 15th, 2010 @ 7:16 pm

    YAY for #3! :) Great list!

  3. What Makes People Happy? The Top 10 List – Joyful Days : : TroubledRelationships.org.
    September 15th, 2010 @ 11:04 pm

    [...] What Makes People Happy? The Top 10 List. what makes people happy The one thing most studies on happiness agree on is this: family and relationships are the surest way to happiness. Close behind are meaningful work, positive thinking, …Go to Source [...]

  4. Tunde Ajayi
    September 17th, 2010 @ 2:37 am

    I love TV! :) Nice post Daphne.

  5. Beaulotus
    September 17th, 2010 @ 4:57 am

    Now I know why I’m usually quite happy LOL

    But I’ll need to watch more TV, unless you consider the Internet as a form of TV.

  6. J.,D. Meier
    September 20th, 2010 @ 3:21 pm

    I have to say the open road and my favorite song on a Sunny day with the top down on my Jeep does it for me every time … without fail.

  7. Joyce
    October 7th, 2010 @ 11:05 am

    Thanks for sharing, Daphne! It’s good to be reminded of these things, especially when the days are a bit gloomy.

  8. Evelyn Lim
    October 13th, 2010 @ 10:33 pm

    For a long time, I stopped watching TV. However, in the recent months, I started watching some. I have to agree that a little TV is a great way to relax!!

  9. Mark
    January 18th, 2011 @ 7:13 am

    I just discovered this site, looking for a little something to spark a happier healthier (is that a word?) me for the new year.

    This is a great list and I would like to add music to it. I have a playlist called “happy music” on my ipod where I keep the subset of music that is there primarily to put a smile of my face.

    I recommend it!

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  12. nonka
    September 6th, 2011 @ 6:20 pm

    i think that happiness makes people at firs religion then to spend a time with their favorite people and good health.

  13. joe
    September 13th, 2011 @ 5:15 am

    happiness is a biggggggggggggggggggg lie. I never felt it.I a m living waiting for “Godot” but he will never come.it’s not the husband, not children , not money.it’s smile.how to find it?to feel it?what’s it’s shape?it’s taste? it’s color?where does it exist?
    we exist just to suffer.

  14. Daphne
    September 14th, 2011 @ 1:22 pm

    Hello Joe,

    I appreciate your honesty, and those are good questions as happiness is indeed intangible. Your comment reminded me of something I read about Buddhism, although I’m not a Buddhist myself. Given your worldview that we exist just to suffer, you may find it interesting to read up on the Four Noble Truths of Buddha:

    1) Life means suffering.
    2) The origin of suffering is attachment.
    3) The cessation of suffering is attainable.
    4) There is a path to the cessation of suffering.

  15. Tom
    October 15th, 2011 @ 2:22 am

    I WANT YOU TO THINK HOW ABOUT THIS WELL FOR THOSE WHO DONT KNOW HOW TO START HAPPYNESS YOU NEED TO START BY MAKING YOURSELF START IT LIKE A MATCH A STRIKER TO LITE A FIRE I FOR ONE REALIZED IT JUST RECENTLY AND IT WORKED I EXPRESS KIND WORD’S TO PEOPLE TO SEE WHAT THERE EMOTIONS SAY TO THEMSELVES A GREAT EXAMPLE IS TO SAY HELLO TO A STRANGER YOU HAVE A WONDERFULL SMILE EVEN WHEN THEY DIDNT SMILE AND YOU WILL SEE A CHEER IN THEM AND A REAL SMILE COMES OUT SECONDLY YOU SEE SOMEONE YOU LIKE JUST SAY HI AND NICE TOO MEET YOU AND THEY WILL BE TAKEN … AND WHEN YOU LEAVE SAY GOODBYE IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU AND THEY WILL LOOK FORWARD TOO SEEING YOU AT THE SAME PLACE LIKE A STARBUCK’S ONE TIME I SAW A GIRL SHE LOOKED AT ME AND I LOOKED AT HER AND I SMILED AND I SAID A QUIET HELLO OR A HI … AND WHEN I WAS LEAVING AND PACKING UP MY LAPTOP I TURNED LOOK AT HER EYES AND SMILED AND I SAID IM GONNA MISS YOU .. AND YOU WONT BELEIVE THE CHEER IN THERE SMILE WAS FOR THAT REGARD .. TRUST ME PUSH AND MAKE YOUIR WORDS COME TRUE AND WHAT YOU FEEL AND SHOW IT YOU WILL SEE THE DIFFERENCE DONT LIVE YOUR LIFE BORED AND UNLIVABLE SMILE AND CHEER PEOPLE YOU WILL NEVER BE LIVING A LIFE LIKE BEFORE AND THOSE THAT DONT RESPOND TO YOU LEAVE IT ALONE THEY ARE THE ONES WHO ARE THE BIGGEST MALAKA’S IN THE WORLD TAKE CARE PEOPLE AND SMILE

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  18. Muhammed Flaifil
    November 7th, 2011 @ 4:01 am

    Great Sex with women keeps men hAPPY all the time. It boosts your confidence and gives you a purpose to keep on living.

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  21. What makes people ‘Feel Good’? pt.2 « Costas K
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    [...] website called Joyful Days (link) seems to agree with these for the most [...]

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